Confession: I have recently become addicted to Snapchat. I don’t know how it happened, but it just did.
During my first few weeks of trying out the app, a million and one things would go through my head as I viewed my own snaps. Thoughts like:
Oh my gosh this is what my voice sounds like to other people?!
My intonation is all wrong! Do I really speak this way???
Should I be fixing my hair before I record a video?
Ooh, if I angle my head and the camera this way, I look thinner. Lol.
I must look silly to people who can see me doing this.
Nakakahiya ako! Ang tanda ko na, ngayon pako natuto nito!
I wonder if it matters that I don’t make an effort to look nice (as in, made up) in these videos?
I really am camera-shy.
That last thought perplexes me. I am camera-shy and I do have stage fright. It’s so bad that even when I’m asked to speak during meetings, I stumble. I get nervous whenever everyone’s attention is turned to me.
BUT, during regular conversations, when attention is drawn to me naturally, I’m totally fine. It’s so weird. I don’t understand why I function this way. I’ve always known that I would do better behind the scenes than in the spotlight, though, because of this. And so behind the scenes I have stayed.
Sayang (it’s a shame,) some people say, because I do have a lot to say. Most of the time the things that come out of my mouth make sense. I guess this is why I enjoy writing and blogging so much. I get to let those thoughts and opinions out without having to open my mouth.
Sayang, some people say, because I’m quite entertaining. Well, my humor is sarcastic and self-deprecating. It isn’t for everyone. So I try to keep my audiences small. As in friends and family only. I feel, though, that as I get used to this Snapchatting thing, I’ll start to seem less uptight there. At the moment, I’m still struggling to get over the actual sound of my voice.
Sayang, some people say, because I register well on-cam even though I’m a bit on the chubby side. To this, all I can say is HAHAHAHAHA. Yep, I may be plus-sized, but that never bothered me before. I’m not the type who will shy away from a camera because of the way I look. I don’t pretend to be thin. I know my angle, and because I’m a girl I sometimes choose to use it. I do love being me, and that’s a fact.
It’s strange, but being on Snapchat has sort of helped me learn more about myself. I now have a better idea of how I sound to other people, and what my face looks like while I speak. I never realized that I made that many facial expressions. No wonder I’m able to piss people off so easily. Lol.
I also know that my days can be really dull. I wake up, have coffee, cook, drive. I get on the computer and write. I read a little, cook some more, then drive again. Most of my time is spent at home. When I actually go out, it’s to go grocery shopping or to the laundromat. Guys, do I need a life? Lol.
At the same time, I’m learning that I really like this life. It’s a far cry from what my days were like during my 20’s, especially when I still worked in events management. Everything was so exciting and fast-paced then. Now, things are slow, calm, and quiet. I like it, but some days it makes me feel old. And I know I’m not actually old.
There are days when I sit and think about how I can make my snaps look more interesting. Of course I know that the answer is to actually go out and do something. Whenever I’m out, though, I don’t open Snapchat. Why not? Because I really fell like I look silly recording myself as I speak into my (huge) phone.
At the start of 2016, a friend shared that vlogging will soon kick blogging’s butt. I take this to mean that those of us who are more comfortable at writing rather than speaking our thoughts are in trouble. I guess that Snapchat, in this case, also works for me as a sort of trial phase, should I ever transition to posting videos.
At this moment, however, I can say that I am so not ready for it. But add me on Snapchat anyway. 😀
Have any of you guys shifted from blogging to vlogging or have you started to incorporate videos into your posts? How has the transition been for you? Is anyone else out there totally not camera-ready like me?