This week, I got a glimpse into what life would be as a stay at home mom. I must say, if someone told me five years ago that I had to quit working and start doing this, I’d have probably thrown a hissy fit. Back then, work was all I knew. I was a new mom who was stuck at home throughout pregnancy and my son’s first year. I felt helpless, trapped, and unfulfilled. Fast forward to today, and here I am, missing work, manning the fort, while my mom takes care of my grandfather who’s in the hospital for some procedures. I never thought that running a household would be this tiring. And I honestly am still pretty clueless as to what I will be serving my family for dinner. But I really am having fun, and I’m enjoying my time with my little guy. I’m glad I get to bring him to school and pick him up after, and that we do homework in the afternoon instead of after dinner so we have time to watch cartoons before bed. I get to bake nice cupcakes and prepare home cooked meals for us. If I had a little more time, I’d probably start cleaning our room.
It’s pretty difficult though that I’m missing so many days of work. When I’m at the office I pretty much need to catch up on everything I’ve set aside. Plus I don’t get any pay on my absent days because my leave credits aren’t coming in til April when I hit the one year mark with my current employer. And while this whole stay at home thing is really looking good to me at the moment, I must say that money will be a bit of a concern if we were to rely solely on the Husband’s income. Meaning, we’ll need to start lessening our expenses, which to me sounds rather heartbreaking. Doable, but heartbreaking.
Then again, there’s always that small window of hope, the opportunity to freelance or put up a small home business. It makes me nervous though, the thought of not having my own steady, monthly income. On the other hand, doesn’t every mom dream of having all the time in the world to spend with their kids, being able to run their households themselves, being able to be a true wife and mom? That is the very reason why I moved to a job close to home, to buy myself that extra time. Of course, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, and now that I’ve already gotten that job that’s close to home, this window opened up and let me peek into the life of a work at home mom (I say work at home because I don’t think I can survive without at least trying to earn a little extra money to add to our household income). Ugh. So many things to wonder about on all of a sudden.
In the meantime, I’ve just decided that we’ll be having spaghetti for dinner, and I should take the ground beef out of the freezer already if I want it to thaw on time. Postponing my pondering for another day.